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On hate-watching television: a confession

June 26, 2012

The Slate Culture Gabfest did a piece on hate-watching television shows back in May and it got me thinking about shows that I hate-watch.

Hate-watching doesn’t have any standard definition, everybody has different reasons for watching terrible shows: it’s so bad, it’s hilarious; you watch it even though you’re ashamed. The Culture Gabfest crew narrowed down the definition of hate-watching to when you watch a television program because you tell everyone that it is stupid and you hate it.

You may be wondering, It took this blog lady over a month to think about shows that she hate-watches? How does she get anything done in life? In fact, it did not take me this long to think of a show, I thought of one almost immediately. I’m just really this lazy when it comes to blogging. There’s really no reason for me to be talking about this right now, actually. There’s no peg anymore. When Slate talked about hate-watching, it was because Emily Nussbaum had written a story in The New Yorker about hate-watching Smash. That’s because the people on Slate Culture Gabfest are proper culture and entertainment commentators and discuss relevant topics.

Since I know you follow this blog religiously and check at least three times a day to see if I have put up any scintillating posts, I will now reveal my hate-watch.

English: This is a title card for Gossip Girl ...

xoxo, why are you still on the air?!

It’s Gossip Girl.

It’s season finale was more than six weeks ago. It got the green light for renewal a month ago. But I’m still going to talk about it.

Gossip Girl is by far the worst piece of crap I watch. The fact that it is a teen soap means it’s kind of a given that it’s nothing amazing, but this show exceeds all realms of high school/college drama lameness.

It’s been on for five long seasons and looong and painful have they been. I want it to end so bad because I don’t want to watch it anymore, but for some reason I have to see it through to the terrible end.

(I just thought of a teeny tiny peg: Queen B herself, Leighton Meester, is in a movie that just came out! That’s My Boy with Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg. Now I feel better).

What makes me hate this show so much is that it’s clear that no one involved in it cares about it anymore. They repeat plotlines over and over. They let interesting moments go by the wayside. Characters literally disappear from the show. (I’m pretty sure Eric is in Tanzania). They introduce relationships that go against everything characters stand for (Blair Waldorf and Lonely Boy, really? Has Dan Humphrey’s hair gone viral and burrowed into the brains of the writers? That would make an amazing Halloween episode by the way. Just saying, writers, I’m available if you need ideas.)

Season one had it all.

What I hate the most is how they hurry through story lines so fast. I know the characters lives are scandalous, but sometimes scandal lasts a little longer than a three-episode arc.

I know I could stop watching any time, but for some reason I can’t take my eyes away from the incoming train wreck, even though I know exactly how the train wreck is going to happen because the stories are so predictable. Sure, they throw in a surprise twist every now and then, but it always ends up falling flat. There was a time when Gossip Girl was good and a part of me is always hopeful it will return to its former glory, when Rufus will have re-grown a pair, when Lily will be quippy and bitchy, when Blair will be powerful and mighty again, when Chace Crawford‘s character will be well-rounded – oh wait, he never had a character, he was just the hair.

So with the announcement that next season will be the last for the Upper East Siders, all I can say is hallelujah, soon my Monday nights will be free, and also, I will miss you Gossip Girl. Kristen Bell better make an appearance before the show ends.

By the way, if you were wondering, Penn Badgley, that actor who plays dumb Dan Humphrey looks even more like a homeless man since he grew a beard. What a treasure.

What show(s) do you hate-watch?

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. June 26, 2012 12:31 pm

    OMFGG! Wow, agree with everything. Laughed out loud at Starbucks on my break, because that’s never happened before… I will be sad when it’s over. I hope it feels cathartic but I doubt it. My question is: who are they going to kill? Will they all make it to the end of the season or will one *cough Blake Lively *cough do a Jennifer Aniston and bow out mid season or push for a shorter season. Funny how you use this show for hate-watching because I remember actually not liking it or rather having no vested interest in it the first few times we watched it. Mind you we were surrounded by a bunch of near alcoholics…I guess that was a perfect setting seeing as where the show has gone/started.

  2. June 26, 2012 12:32 pm

    Oh and I didn’t mention the beard! I guess I didn’t need to…

  3. June 26, 2012 1:00 pm

    I hate watch SMASH, need to still catch up on GG, also I’m finding myself to be hate watching GIRLS… I also can’t wait to start hate watching REVENGE it’s like almost there now.

    • June 26, 2012 1:46 pm

      I hate-watched Smash (like everyone else who watches it) for the first few episodes and I haven’t had time to return to it yet.

      You have so much to look forward to with GG.

      I love Girls! I will write a blog post about it soon.

      Wow, that was fast with Revenge.

  4. June 27, 2012 2:08 am

    OH SMASH gets so bad good! The finale of REVENGE saved it for me, brilliant. I don’t know why but I’m so annoyed by most of Girls but keep watching every episode.

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